Kicked back with a content tummy of french toast, fresh berries and a tall cold glass of almond milk....Finally I am having a lazy Sunday! explaining my posting at 10:30 am versus 6:00 am.....also in part to the long ass bath I took with no kids, no tub toys and a good book.....which I managed to finish for once without interruption.
Weeks and weeks of waiting and I switched my earlier vow of having Saturdays free to Sundays....I have laundry, but that's a chore that will never never end as long as there are two females in the house who insist on changing clothes at least twice a day......and a little boy who when wearing a bib still manages to get food EVERYWHERE else but on the bib....go figure...
No, today I have reclaimed as my own to do whatever the hell I feel like doing...or don't feel like doing if that is the case....and after the day I had yesterday...well, I need a breather....
I had this weird gray feeling Saturday which could very well be a direct result of H&R Block popping my delusional balloon and slapping me with the wake-up call that I have officially entered adulthood....which apparently includes the depressing realization that you get less back married then when single and that little itty bitty bitty raise you got...the one you didn't know whether to cry or laugh about...in joy or despair...that it pushed you just enough above the tax margin that you are considered one of the elite adults who don't get to bank in on the fat cash coming your way....that there will be no "tax refund cars" or vacations at the moment.....and you sit there with your mouth hanging open, having a slowmo frame by frame reaction in Ralphie mode...and the long drawn fuuuuuudge (which if you know me was just like the movie and not fudge at all) in front of some shriveled old man who hunt and pecked his way at my taxes....
Well, I grabbed my little shoe box filled with what I now realize was a waste of paper and substantial evidence that there will not be that never taken honeymoon....or the new laptop wasn't happening this year...I grudgingly made my way back to my mother's to retrieve my kiddos....who had been having the time of their life terrorizing their equally frazzled grandmother and at that moment I realized it wasn't so bad being an adult....or being broke..
As long as I had my sanity, my health and lots of sticky icky little fingerprints on the windows of my car, Hello Kitty band aids in my first aid kit (or that fact I had a first aid kit at all) or the coloring on the back of the bathroom door....it was ok...I could make do with that....but I would be lying if I didn't admit it made me sullen and miserable at that moment...
So off to the Magick Cauldron and Les Grivals we went....a couple hours later of with run-ins with weirdos and hyperactive puppies who chase every tennis ball in sight followed by a scrumptious tofu Vietnamese sandwich...and I was back to my usual bitchy smart ass self.....and reading all this insane news coverage on Demi and her Whip-it action....am I the only person who doesn't give a fuck about whether or not she's smoking K-2, doing Whip-its followed by shots of Adderall and Red Bull??? Celebrities going on drug binges and its front page news for at least a week.....Local druggies go on binges and beat, maim and kill their children, their spouses or OD under overpasses and its buried on the 14th page of the Chronicle...or stuck at the end of the news cast right after sports.....
Sobering reminders that no matter how much I posture...no matter how many raises I get...no matter how much I write on this blog hoping someday it will lead to a column or job outside my damn cubicle and institutional walls that it won't.....that we live here on Earth, in reality and that sometimes means mothers down the street poisoning their kids or the quiet guy at work who beats his wife...women walking into Metro trains, and everyone getting told at some point by the tax man that their buck stops there and they ain't seeing no more $$$$ signs after that new job....
Shit...even that would make the most emotionally balanced person throw in the towel and then take a huge leap into the bayou.....but not if we all take a breather whether its a lazy Sunday, Saturday or if you are unemployed or independently wealthy enough to sit on your ass full time (or thanks to mommy and daddy) , we all need time, space to recharge our psyche and energy and soul....so that when faced with all that page 14 shit we can make it through the story and realize it isn't OUR story....
In conclusion (because I find I use the phrase 'So, ' far too much and I am not getting stuck in that Valley Girl redundancy), I plan to use this day to allow myself the space, the time to become emotionally prepared to live through one more week, one more day, and hears to hoping you don't see me on at 11 right after sports....
P.S. You will find this post to be a little shorter today and directly to the point without the attempt to lengthen or flush with hip pop culture references or smart ass plugs of what sounds witty in my head....and that's because I've got a TON of nothingness and a HUGE amount of jack shit to complete....and the couch is calling my name....didn't I say this would be a lazy Sunday?
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