For those of you who don't know me or do and pretend not to, I had the epiphany at the beginning of last year when we enrolled Shark in public school that this experience was going to be unlike no other we have had. See we went from a well known private Montessori school where parents economic backgrounds weren't as scrutinized as much as long as the check didn't bounce, and diversity was the norm, and my child felt comfortable letting it "all hang out" from her weird OCD clothing tag things to her mother hen nature helping others...and how she hums when she's eating something she likes....
Fast forward into public school and not just any public school, but Hunter's Creek and we had what you call shell shock-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l8PSdxy-_s (shameless plug for the mood I am in) and so I became determined to make my child fit in as much as possible without the multimillion dollar home and cars...so I wrote every possible check I could for PTA, t-shirts, fundraisers, and any little thing my kid made in art and they sold....well I still felt like I had no connection to the other parents and since I couldn't very well makeup a fake address, persona and drive an imaginary Porsche Panorama (which is beautiful up close and person I might say, and I know from the many many I see in the car pool lane), I knew I had to find an alternative route and kill them with kindness and with my skills....but I had no idea what skills to draw on. Would my extra 40 lbs from Max be able to make me win them with my hot model looks? Yeah right. Would my ability to shout at decibel level only dogs can hear help? Shucks, not unless they needed dog walkers for their pampered pooches. Would my tacky dark stories of serial killer old ladies and prostitutes or pedophile priests contribute? Mais non, literary talent would be wasted on women who were able to coordinate and organize their lives as well as those of an entire school with their colored sheets, and pocket folders better than I could ever my shoe collection.
So I did the only thing I could. I signed up for Room Parent because I figured one thing I had over the other mothers was an almost psychotic obssession with finishing paperwork and paying attention to detail so that the minute that sign up sheet came home it was back in the teacher's hands before the ink was dry...this was something I could do I chanted as I waited to find out how they were going to tell me I was too slow...well the email informing me I had a meeting to attend for my orientation for Room Parent just upgraded my status with Charlotte from dorky embarrassing mom to slightly less embarrassing ROOM PARENT!!! And I was really cool with that.
Well, I figured even after orientation that I had this in the bag...I mean all I had to do was forward emails from the room parent coordinator to the parents, right? Wrong! I had parties to help coordinate and teacher appreciation gifts on top of PTA meeting attendance and fundraisers...well I signed up to co-coordinate the grade level Valentine's Day Party and sometime over the holiday hoopla forgot. So I get an email out of the blue about it from the other coordinator and now I am filled with this sense of panic in my chest which in all actuality is my over elevated heart and I haven't even had caffeine in 19 days!!!
I gulp and take a deep breath which simultaneously coincided with Charlotte farting in the car before squealing a maniacal squeal and jumping out of the car....so there I sat this morning have a panic attack in a raunchy smelling car (that's what happens when she sneaks meat after a vegetable diet) and trying to gather my thoughts about the impending duties of Room Parent, Max's birthday plans I have to solidify by Monday, and then Charlotte's birthday not mention jury duty and then a court battle with "Hampster" as my step dad calls him and then summer....speckle in a few work obligations and personal goals and scheduling conflicts and its asking for a meltdown...but today I will suck it up and make it through today. Kinda like AA without the stale donuts, horrible coffee and sad ass drunks...I will take one day at a time.
So I implore any of you if you have tips on how to be a better multitasker please please share them! Or maybe just your thoughts in the end if its healthy and productive and worth it to Charlotte in the end that I try and do these things even when I don't come from the same cellophane package as these other Barbies? I mean lets face it...if they made a aged punk bitch Barbie who has tattoos and settled down but still wears old Van Halen shirts on the weekends then I would be it..but should I try harder to be the blonde Barbie in the Ann Taylor suit with the Tori Burch flats?
Ugh...back to life I go until tomorrow...
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