But today I had to drop off this pesky little thing called dry cleaning, and it was raining and I couldn't decide on which outfit to wear....and now regret the one I changed back into.....I could go on and on with the excuses as to what and why I didn't post earlier, but even I am still fat enough that I need to save what little breath I can get out in the form of something other than wheezing......
Any way-when I last left you I was being a total twat and ranting about my stupid ego....and now...and now my ego is still a little bruised, but I will get over it....if I can get over death, divorce, baby blues and the life I live...by God I can handle that sometimes it isn't about me...or the problem isn't me...sometimes people are just that, people, human beings who error and some human beings just don't know any better.....maybe considerate shit that nags the heck out of me isn't something they're used to thinking about....and maybe I need to grow a thicker shell or even a shell at all would help.....kind of like my own "Turtle Time" today
where I will learn the protective skills of the common tortoise...
Stolen straight off of Wikipedia:
" Tortoises (
/ˈtɔːr.təs.ɪz/, Testudinidae) are a family of land-dwelling reptiles of the order of turtles(Testudines). Like their marine cousins, the sear turtles, tortoises are shielded from predators by a shell. The top part of the shell is the carapace, the underside is the plastron, and the two are connected by the bridge. The tortoise has both an endoskeleton and an exoskeleton. Tortoises can vary in size from a few centimeters to two meters. Tortoises are usually diurnal animals with tendencies to be crepuscular depending on the ambient temperatures. They are generally reclusive animals. "See that! Smart ass little buggers there! They come equipped with built in defense mechanism in order to ensure their survival.....so what's my built in defense? Throwing out quips and witticisms that would make great bumper stickers or t-shirts ....but still leaving me bruised and broken? Fuck that. A simple fuck that.
Less than 5 days ago I felt like I was Balboa about to perform a K-O on my latest round, and now I'm about to throw up the white flag and run for the high hills....fuck that. Defeat is never an option. I don't know who the first person was to say that, but I know it was famous or made famous by that person and every other Nike or Gatorade commercial and professional athlete with an endorsement and save for the few cases like Tiger Woods were they had no other option..well everyone else comes out ok. So I will learn to be ok.
I will grow a thicker carapace and learn to withdraw back into myself if need be....I kind of used to have this hurt others before they could hurt me complex...mostly just towards men...but lately I see I have taken this stance with everyone...because I am tired of being disappointed or hurt....or just being some whiny pathetic person who rambles on boo hooing at what was, is or hasn't been....
Well today those days are over....at least with all certainty they are today. I am going to take a cue from my friend the tortoise and suck it up and venture on out....I am gonna be tough if for no other reason than a bunch of pint sized reptiles with weird skin texture can and I have to for Charlotte.....because god knows the world doesn't need another neurotic bitch like me....
I'm gonna show my daughter that when those little blonde rich bitches call you poor or make fun of your clothes or tell you are a loser and won't play with you....well you just tell them that won't change the fact that at some point they're the ones who will date your leftovers or drive the used cars you get rid of when you buy your umpteenth new one....and they'll be driving it to and from the hellatious and horrible job they'll have working for you....until you fire them because they're gonna be too goddamn stupid to function without all of daddy's money....
Besides-chicks like that are great to take home to mom...and later divorce....over and over...but its the bad ass bitches like me, like my daughter whose life lessons seemed to be learned the hard way that make bad ass wives, doctors, lawyers, authors, moms....ok maybe the mom thing is still up in the air because bad ass bitches curse like bad ass bitches and hearing your toddler utter shit at Montessori doesn't increase your chances of the Columbia or Harvard admission letter..but hey 4 out of 5 ain't bad...because we learn to be equipped to handle hell ANYTHING and EVERYTHING because we have that shell and can withstand anything....except maybe Hurricane Ike and that's why we have USAA.....
How can I expect my Shark to face the world if all I do is run from it myself and lament for nauseating hours on end here to you guys?
My step dad gave me something yesterday that made me laugh so hard I damn near pissed my pants...and then cry because it holds some truth....and I vow to make sure it doesn't any more....
Here's to hoping that psycho part skips a generation....but I guess I'll have to wait until she's in the full throws of puberty to report back on that one....so its 4 years and counting....
Let's all try and polish that old shell....you never know when you might need to withstand a ballistic co-worker on a rampage....or hide from the boss looking for someone's ass to chew....
So make this a Turtle/Tortoise day....I am sure gonna try...
(and if you think that's cute and clever check out this episode of Tosh.0 about turtles...still makes me pee my pants....with laughter and not because I didn't complete my Kiegel's)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKgi3l_3Aj0
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