Was in dire need of a motivational pick me up this morning due to the stress discussed earlier along with the implosion of my world and realizing I am still at the bottom of the totem pole, the food chain...whatever you want to compare it to...which is further reinforced with every order request that makes it way across my desk, the long hours I spend here, the lunches I forsake and vacation days not taken...and yet I am still sit here in my little cubicle in my even smaller life (there goes that negativity I talked about) and I go unnoticed here and at home and in the world...

so rather than escape by eating, cursing or crying which I have vowed to do less of unless in joy, I took a moment which would be the equivalent of a smoker's break if I smoked to peruse motivational reinforcement sites and found a blog by Ellen DeGeneres that I actually like...I know I know...some of you are probably not huge fans, although I am reminded of this hilarious stand up act, In the Beginning, when she actually ragged on vegans in her act...now she is one with some really cool and amazing shit I found that reminded me why I am taking this journey to begin with, to let the better inner me shine through DESPITE all the listed hopeless trivial things I see in my life...its to remind myself I can finish something I started, that when you choose to try and live a more peaceful and simple clean life you will find that you are more peaceful. And its that notion that keeps me sane, that keeps me hopeful that all my crazy postings, stories, scraps of papers with half finished poems, and desire to find my place in the world because I crave something I have never had a word for are not in vain, are not a sign I'm mental and that I will find whatever the fuck it is I am meant to do.....how is it a simple change in diet makes me so damn introspective???


Either way-check it out. http://vegan.ellen.warnerbros.com/